hatred

i hate those stupid lies!!! those words that came out  from your mouth makes me feels like loosing my trust with you.. why do we always love someone who love them also?.. esttuuuped!!!~:(

26/04/11: i though you really want to leave me.. and i'm happy your not!

how do i start and begin with this note? typing down what i've felt. the anger, pain, sufferings, heartaches, sadness, and etc. how i wish i'm going to die sleeping or have a sick that may lead to death. how could this be happen when you gave all your love to the person you want to be
 with and don't deserve a certain effort.. i face all challenges. meet those stupid reality that cross by with no condition to stuggle my life in miserable.. i cried and cried till my last tears wash the pain in my heart.. those moment that i've been so lucky enought with the person i loved. those laughter that i showed over joyed infront of you.. those time i didn't waste just to see a person i merely inlove with.. those days was just like a dream of happiness and reality. hapiness that end with sadness.. and reality that full of uncertain things..

to the person i loved..
it was way back in three years when i recognize someone like you.. and i never tought this would happen that love cross our pathways with different meanings and feelings in our heart..  some people tells me, if i've been inlove with the person whom i love then he is lucky enough to have you. some people understands me for who i'm really i.. my personality, attitude, apperance, and it's just the way i am...simple, childish kind of personality..

you've said that your affraid that you might loose me.. you said there will be forever. and all that you've said is just a only word how a girl will fall inlove with traps of sayings.. prove me i'm wrong.. prove it.

you made a wrong decsion, or maybe i was the stupid one crying out for no reason.. i push myself hard to understand you. swallow all my pride too end up the fight. and i don't get it.! why should we always run trough those misunderstandings in life.. i always said to myself that i'm tired of getting hurt.. but i should not be.. i should not..


This is who i really i am.. writting all what i felt..because i could express it than showing my anger to anyone else.. i cried  because i'm scared to kept the pain in my heart.. i always pray and ask God why?. why is their anything reason??.. maybe i'm used to it.. to get hurt..or is it  just a part of my life.. because every person i loved hurt me as they want to felt for them.. i tried to be strong enough.. but enough is enough.. i tought you know me better.. and its a no.

My new page diary

and yizerie>:D i found my new diary through website.. blogspot coz some don't know about this one but some will know..Ok.. OK!! if you know it already just keep it that you know my secrets in life.. shhh.. please shhhhh... because i want to write it in private that no would know how i felt everyday..:D its kinda record of what i did and do.. blah...! so much for the siiiiyingss:)))


*toodles!!;)

today's run on my mind

Alam mo ba?.. oo nga naman siguro nga hindi.. ito kasi ngayon ang takbo ng aking isipan habang nakikinig sa radio station mellow type na mga kanta.. hindi ko alam kung san mag sisimula sa pag sulat ng aking bagong entry na blog ang kwento ng aking buhay... honestly i pause for a few minutes of what to type down of what i'm thinking and bother me in times of like this moment, listening to music when your in down.  because
it's a part of personality.  the future, wants, desire, dreams, plans and etc. so much to think, so much to understand..

 this is who am really i, expressing word by word of my thoughts, imaginations, feelings, dreams and emotions.. who cares i'm just the real me.. practicing also my english english grammars!!!>:)) hahaha.. i don't want to take it serious but more on happiness on what turns my life into upside down.. tragic scene but an adventurous dreams.. i know i made a lot of dreams and also bad moods in times of disappointment. disappointment because i don't get what i want in all times that i need so i need to suffer than to force someone just to have my satisfaction in life but yizz.. i understand those people why.. why i can't have the certain things like this and that because i know their are reasons why.. why.. why.. and it says i should keep dreaming to have this and those and all that i want.. it just matter when you want something that you really don't get... 
all i can say is that "life is not about rich and poor but it is with in us on how to treasure our part on earth" to know what's God plan for us.."